A Wonderful Human Being

Today is the anniversary of my Dad’s passing away in 1997 but I remember it all like yesterday.  Even though he suffered with cancer for about 5 years I choose to remember him when he was happy, fit and healthy.  What a wonderful human being he was, full of laughter, always singing and loved his family very very much and even though he is not here today I still feel his unconditional love around me, so very abundant and strong.  When loved ones leave our life here on earth, I believe their loving spirit still shines upon us, more than we will ever know.  Their love is surrounding you right now.  Clarabelle  

Here is the post which I shared before here on this blog:   

His Loving Spirit Lives On

I initially had second thoughts about posting this poem, simply because it is extremely personal to me and tells the true story of my Dad’s fight with cancer over 15 years ago. Sadly, after battling with this disease for 5 years, he passed away on 1 February 1997. The reason why I decided to share this poem is because although it was in some places, painful to write, I do feel other people who have gone through a similar situation with their family members will be able to relate to it and hopefully help them to come to terms with their sad loss and be able to gently move on.  I know everyone deals with grief differently and I think it took me about 5 years for the sadness to truly melt away.  Now when I think of my Dad, I think of the wonderful, happy and outgoing person he was, this then makes me smile and so proud to be his daughter and part of his life…..his loving spirit lives on in every heart he touched and I know he touched many.

My Wonderful Dad

It was 15 years ago, when you passed away

I must admit, it was my saddest day

My heart felt heavy, from deep inside

I had lost my Dad, I had lost my guide

The tears were painful, unbearable at times

Red bloodshot eyes, were swollen signs

When all alone, I cried out my heart

The deepest sadness, when you did depart

I held your hand, a few days before

And took a last glance back, before I left the ward door

Something told me to look back, when visiting that night

It was 24 hours later, you gave up the fight

I was out with a friend, but didn’t want to go

You told me to ‘live on’ and for the sadness not to show

I came home that night, there was a cold chill in the air

I instantly knew, why no one was there

They were called to the hospital, late that night

You were taking your last breathe, and approaching the light

Everyone was there, except for me

Because I went out, very selfishly

I lived with that hurt, for a few years

Why wasn’t I with you, I cried so many tears

I think it took about 5 years to move on

It was a painful few years, when your presence was gone

But now when I think of my wonderful Dad

I remember the good times, never the sad

I celebrate your life years, there were 58

I was part of 23 and you made them great

You never lived a perfect life, worry got to you

It’s easy to blame, but we didn’t live in your shoes

I think of your singing, I think of your smile

I think of that waistcoat, you wore for a while

You were fond of the mirror, a poser you were

Talking to yourself, as you played with your hair

When you left for work, I missed you right away

When you arrived home, it made my day

You were always positive and friendly to all

You liked to use humour, to break down the brick walls

A charmer you were, fun and caring

A Dad in a million and a little bit daring

You sang at most weddings, with a few whiskys inside

You jigged on the dance floor and flirted with the bride

You loved a laugh and would welcome a crowd

You loved your family, they made you feel so proud

In this physical world, your body is away

In another dimension, your spirit lives on each day

Maybe I can’t see you, but you can see me

You can feel my spirit and its frequency

So I’m sending you this message after 15 years

Life is good Dad, we have no more tears

You are still greatly missed and always will be

You have an extended family, it’s so beautiful to see

As the years go by and the older we get

We must live in each moment, but never will forget

The loved ones of the past, who are present in our mind

Who live in our hearts and are one of a kind

We love you, we miss you and to hold you once more

Would be a dream come true, if you walked through that door

The tears of the past, are now gone forever

They ran down my cheek and joined the river

And as the river flows, my heart does to

It is joined by my soul and reaches out to you

Because on the crest of the wave, there you stand

Holding out your heart and holding out your hand

Thank you Dad, for in me you live

Thank you for the lessons and to others I now give

Live your best life, every moment of every day

Connect with your inner self and listen to what it says

Enjoy the journey, as you sail down the river

Because there are hearts and many hands helping you forever.

poemsbyclarabelle, 6 January 2012

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