Seek First to Understand….

Clarabelle

Seek first to understand

“Seek first to understand before being understood”, one of my most favorite quotes from the late, Mr Stephen R. Covey in his bestselling book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.  I was recommended this book in 2007 by an Executive Coach in America and I remember when trying to read it for the first time, I didn’t understand it…..I just couldn’t get it, I guess I wasn’t ready for it at that time.  Then, in 2009 I had this urge to try and read it again, so I did and I absolutely loved it. Second time around,  I related to every single aspect of the book, I fully understood the principles within it and it was a life changing book for me.  I use the impactful teachings from this book every day in my work and in my own journey towards personal mastery, but I don’t always get it right!!

“Seek first to understand before being understood”, is such a wonderful principle when put into practice but when emotions are running high it can be very difficult at times to adhere to it.  I have put the principle into practice many times but yesterday got caught out and I immediately realised it, after the event!!  You see, I allowed myself to react to my emotions rather than respond to the situation, which led me to putting my reply across in the wrong way.  I was wrong and I admit I was wrong….so a meaningful “sorry” from me followed straight afterwards.  I know if I had applied the principle effectively, I would have been having a different conversation with the person in hand and thus possibly a more successful outcome that supported the relationship and not damaged it.  Lesson learned, massive lesson learned.  We can learn from others mistakes too, not just our own.

I wanted to share the above with you today because I feel if you apply this principle in your life, it will most definitely strengthen your relationships with other people and you just never know what positive outcomes that may lead to, now and in the future.

Also, is there a book that you need to go back to reading, it could just change your life you know!!

Much love to you today, as always, Clarabelle.

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20 thoughts on “Seek First to Understand….”

  3. I too love Stephen Covey’s book the 7 habits. It changed my life’s perspective on a lot of issues. I have become lost a little from his messages along the way in my dramas, and I am trying to get back to them.
    I have found the ‘first seek to understand’ the hardest of habits, because even when we think we are listening to people, sometimes we are not. We think we know what is best for the other person or for ourselves without REALLY listening to them, so we immediately react. That is a very hard habit to break.
    Great for you that you realised what had happened and sought a better outcome.
    You are inspiring to us all.
    Thanks Clarabelle.
    (Great music clips sent by sharpword, by the way).

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  4. Good morning Belle, 🙂 I would just like to say that the word sorry, “I’m sorry,” is far to rare these days. One reason being that we all assume that we have rights, and that we can do whatever we want without consequence, but there are always consequences if not to ourselves then to others. I guess that’s one reason Jesus told us to simply do to others what we want done to ourselves.

    Miles beyond any self help book is the simplicity of Matthew ch5 3-11, the be- attitudes, and John 3:5-8. new birth of believers.

    Oh, with regards to Belle; My oldest son Isaac recently played the Beast in Beauty and the Beast so Belle is still close to the forefront of my mind. He and the young Lady who played Belle were show stoppers, I was stunned by both of them.

    Have a blessed day Belle

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    1. Good day to you, thank you so much for taking the time to share your valuable comments, I really do appreciate it. That’s really fabulous news about your son Isaac (love that name too) – a massive congratulations to Isaac and ‘Belle’ for their show stopping performances – sounds amazing and it is really wonderful to hear that, you must be very proud of them both. Bella Belle 🙂

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      1. lol yeah I would love to see them do it again, currently Isaac is rehearsing a play in which he is an orderly who falls in love with a patient dying with cancer I had a hard time helping him with his lines its so powerful I choked up often …. maybe is because I was practicing a girls part.

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      3. well m-a-y-b-e lol I sometimes act a little strange; All 3 of my kids have acted, so it’s in them to put on a show they used to impromptu act quite a bit at home

        Bella Belle you were on my mind all morning I hope you are having a blessed day

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      5. lol Your welcome your welcome your welcome. it’s 12 am here I’m so wide awake cant even close my eyes. I don’t dare attempt to engage my brain or I won’t sleep at all tonight.

        Have a great night Bella Belle sleep well, and God bless you

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