Clarabelle Online Magazine

**Spoiler alert – this post has a Happy Ending**

It was a cool summer’s night on Tuesday, 19 May 1992 – I remember it so well. The whole evening, I was laughing, joking and having fun with friends, unaware of the unimaginable terror to come.

Expect the unexpected in life – good or bad…unfortunately for my friends and I, it was really bad.

On the drive home, life took a crazy tumble and unfortunately so did the car we were in. Even to this day, over 30 years on, my mind recalls the accident in slow motion. Every crashing sound, painful moans, hurtful groans and terrified screams, as the car bulleted through the thick wooden barrier, furiously demolishing its way through trees, as it manically rolled down the embankment.

It all happened so fast – like the speed of light – yet my memory of it comes with high sensory detailed accuracy.

In those life-threatening moments, I even had flashing thoughts of my family, sitting at home, unaware of this tragic event I was currently experiencing.

Everything in my life, during that point, was completely ‘out of control‘.

Bang…the car stopped dead…it was like an Angel’s hand had come out of nowhere and protected us.

I was trembling, my body ferociously shaking. We were alone, in the dark and no one knew we were there. 

The strong scent of pine trees mixed with the smell of burning rubber and crushed metal was overpowering.  In the near distance, I could hear the sound of running water – a river. I thought to myself, “if we have one more roll down, we’re in it!”

I was in extreme panic, my friend sitting next to me looked dead.  She was completely unconscious, with blood trickling down the side of her face. I shouted her name….but nothing.

My other two friends, seated in the back of the car, were heavily disorientated, but thankfully moving.

The highest degree of pain I was feeling in my left leg was so bad, I was convinced I had lost it.

My mind was on maximum “flight mode” alert but my body was agonisingly stuck. My left leg was mangled so badly against the crushed car metal and I felt there was no way out.

“It’s going to explode“, I screamed. “This car is going to explode and I can’t get out”. I shouted aimlessly.

Like a miracle, my other friend in the back of the car, managed to escape and scrambled up the hill to seek help.

This “waiting” time was absolutely excrutiating. I felt I was trapped inside a ticking time bomb. In my extreme panicked mind, I thought the car would either explode with us in it, or it would roll further down into the river and we would drown. I was also sure at this point I had lost my leg and had no idea how the unbearable pain at this point, had not knocked me unconscious.

A tiny bit of movement came from my friend beside me – thank goodness she was alive but still unconscious.

My friend who went for help returned with a gang of people, who with great struggle but sheer determination managed to free my two other friends and carry them to safety, but I was still stuck. By this time my panic mode was off-the-scale – “I’m going to die“, I yelled in terror. “I’m stuck to this car and it’s going to explode“. My mind had gone crazy but these feelings were unbelievably real for me.

Eventually, after much exertion and ‘never give up‘ attitudes of the people helping, I was  dragged from the car, howling in absolute agony. I was hurriedly lifted to the top of the road, where I was met with the newly arrived emergency services.

“Have I lost my leg?” I asked the ambulance team. “I think I’ve lost my leg. The pain is so bad. Please help me. Please save my leg“. I cried and begged of them.

I was frightened to look at my leg whilst lying on the side of the road, but I did. It was all twisted and seemed like it was back to front. My foot looked like it was hanging off and my leg was swollen to three times its normal size. The white jeans I was wearing, were now red – fully saturated in blood.

From start to finish, I remember every intricate moment of this horrible event – no other passenger did.

Two of the Policemen attending the accident scene that night, were so concerned about me and they very kindly visited me in hospital a few days later. One of them said, the car wreckage was so badly mangled, they don’t know how anyone got out alive. They explained that the front passenger seat, where I was sitting, was completely caved in. I was just a teenager and it was a miracle to be here!

Thankfully, we all came out of that awful car accident alive and over time recovered well.  I had almost six weeks in hospital, with numerous operations on my left leg, which received pins and plates to help it fully mend. I was using crutches for over a year and wore a cast brace on my leg for a further year. I was then further operated on two years after the accident to have the pin in my thigh removed. I broke my femur, fibula and tibia bones on my left leg but I did NOT lose it.

I was pyschologically scarred for many years after the accident and unfortunately therapy didn’t work for me. The only way I overcame those deeply intense fears, was by learning to drive myself. It was five years later and my fourth attempt in, when I eventually passed my driving test. You see, I had to face my fears to overcome them.

Special Note: The ambulance, police, fire brigade and hospital services were totally AMAZING throughout and I truly offer a billion heartfelt thanks to each and everyone of them. And to the people who helped free us from the car wreckage. You will forever hold a special place in my heart. Your strength and courage were second to none that evening. Thank YOU bravehearts.

But lighting never strikes in the same place twice….does it?

Sadly, for me it does and on Tuesday, 29 September 1992, history repeated itself. I was in serious car crash number two….but that story is for another day!

I was 18 years old when the first accident happened.  The week before the terrifying event, I was happily planning my future career. Everything was put on hold for two years, but it never stopped me. I forged my way back into the workforce as soon as I could and I never looked back.

And the troubles with my left leg –  well that never stopped me either. I went on to run four marathons that I am very proud of achieving.

I am super grateful for my life and for the opportunity to embrace it everyday, full of abundant energy and with a courageous mindset.

I will never allow anything, for any length of time, to hold me back. I will always strive to be better and do better.

I commit to working on improving myself everyday. It doesn’t always go to plan and set backs do come my way, but I believe I am stronger than any challenge and so are YOU.

The beauty of life is to be savoured and enjoyed.

Focus on what is possible.

Believe you can achieve your dreams and desires.

See yourself living in your future desired life, TODAY.

Be happy NOW my friend.

Look for the joy and be thankful.

Thank YOU for being here and more.

I love you for it.

Clarabelle