You may remember a post I did recently called “The Zig Zag Way of Life”, so I thought I would directly apply my own words of wisdom, which I did yesterday.
As I have previously shared on this blog, I am training for the Loch Ness Marathon in September this year and I am following a strict marathon training programme where yesterday I had to run 7 miles. I had a specific running route pre-planned in my head, however whilst thinking about my zig-zag post, I decided to go on a zig-zag route rather than the usual straighter route. So there I went zig-zagging my way across the local town, when I suddenly realised I was approaching the Cemetery where my Dad is buried. I decided right there and then I would run into the Cemetery and visit my Dad’s gravestone.
It Also Felt Right
It was a strange kind of feeling at first running into the Cemetery, but it also felt right. I run up to my Dad’s gravestone, kissed it and said “Thank You Dad” and I tearfully ran off again to finish my run. When I run away from my Dad’s gravestone I immediately choked up with tears, I honestly couldn’t breathe for the heavy sadness I felt. I love my Dad and I miss him dearly and I was, for just a short few seconds, overwhelmed with the deepest emotion – 10 seconds later I was absolutely fine.
I felt so good the rest of the day and I will tell you why. I am learning a lot about the power of saying “thank you” in a meaningful way and I don’t think I ever properly said it to my Dad when he was alive, I am sure I always felt it, but I never said it to him and for me yesterday, I just had this deep urge to tell him “Thank You”, so I did.
Zig-Zagging
So my decision to change the route led me to zig-zagging my way to saying thank you to my Dad, I know his happy spirit heard my loving whispers.
Who do you want to say “thank you” to today? Who do you want to thank for being in your life? I do hope this post encourages you to do just that.
Thank you, thank you, thank YOU for reading this post, it really does mean a lot to me.
Today is the anniversary of my Dad’s passing away in 1997 but I remember it all like yesterday. Even though he suffered with cancer for about 5 years I choose to remember him when he was happy, fit and healthy. What a wonderful human being he was, full of laughter, always singing and loved his family very very much and even though he is not here today I still feel his unconditional love around me, so very abundant and strong. When loved ones leave our life here on earth, I believe their loving spirit still shines upon us, more than we will ever know. Their love is surrounding you right now. Clarabelle
Here is the post which I shared before here on this blog:
His Loving Spirit Lives On
I initially had second thoughts about posting this poem, simply because it is extremely personal to me and tells the true story of my Dad’s fight with cancer over 15 years ago. Sadly, after battling with this disease for 5 years, he passed away on 1 February 1997. The reason why I decided to share this poem is because although it was in some places, painful to write, I do feel other people who have gone through a similar situation with their family members will be able to relate to it and hopefully help them to come to terms with their sad loss and be able to gently move on. I know everyone deals with grief differently and I think it took me about 5 years for the sadness to truly melt away. Now when I think of my Dad, I think of the wonderful, happy and outgoing person he was, this then makes me smile and so proud to be his daughter and part of his life…..his loving spirit lives on in every heart he touched and I know he touched many.
Mum & Dad on their Wedding Day on 16 July 1966, Gran Murray on Left and Gran Stewart on the right
My Wonderful Dad
It was 15 years ago, when you passed away
I must admit, it was my saddest day
My heart felt heavy, from deep inside
I had lost my Dad, I had lost my guide
The tears were painful, unbearable at times
Red bloodshot eyes, were swollen signs
When all alone, I cried out my heart
The deepest sadness, when you did depart
I held your hand, a few days before
And took a last glance back, before I left the ward door
Something told me to look back, when visiting that night
It was 24 hours later, you gave up the fight
I was out with a friend, but didn’t want to go
You told me to ‘live on’ and for the sadness not to show
I came home that night, there was a cold chill in the air
I instantly knew, why no one was there
They were called to the hospital, late that night
You were taking your last breathe, and approaching the light
Everyone was there, except for me
Because I went out, very selfishly
I lived with that hurt, for a few years
Why wasn’t I with you, I cried so many tears
I think it took about 5 years to move on
It was a painful few years, when your presence was gone
But now when I think of my wonderful Dad
I remember the good times, never the sad
I celebrate your life years, there were 58
I was part of 23 and you made them great
You never lived a perfect life, worry got to you
It’s easy to blame, but we didn’t live in your shoes
I think of your singing, I think of your smile
I think of that waistcoat, you wore for a while
You were fond of the mirror, a poser you were
Talking to yourself, as you played with your hair
When you left for work, I missed you right away
When you arrived home, it made my day
You were always positive and friendly to all
You liked to use humour, to break down the brick walls
A charmer you were, fun and caring
A Dad in a million and a little bit daring
You sang at most weddings, with a few whiskys inside
You jigged on the dance floor and flirted with the bride
You loved a laugh and would welcome a crowd
You loved your family, they made you feel so proud
In this physical world, your body is away
In another dimension, your spirit lives on each day
Maybe I can’t see you, but you can see me
You can feel my spirit and its frequency
So I’m sending you this message after 15 years
Life is good Dad, we have no more tears
You are still greatly missed and always will be
You have an extended family, it’s so beautiful to see
As the years go by and the older we get
We must live in each moment, but never will forget
The loved ones of the past, who are present in our mind
Who live in our hearts and are one of a kind
We love you, we miss you and to hold you once more
Would be a dream come true, if you walked through that door
The tears of the past, are now gone forever
They ran down my cheek and joined the river
And as the river flows, my heart does to
It is joined by my soul and reaches out to you
Because on the crest of the wave, there you stand
Holding out your heart and holding out your hand
Thank you Dad, for in me you live
Thank you for the lessons and to others I now give
Live your best life, every moment of every day
Connect with your inner self and listen to what it says
Enjoy the journey, as you sail down the river
Because there are hearts and many hands helping you forever.
poemsbyclarabelle, 6 January 2012
If you really like what you read here on this blog, you may be interested in purchasing one of Clarabelle’s self-published inspirational ebooks available to download now on Amazon Kindle, please refer to the Author page on this blog or click HERE
I initially had second thoughts about posting this poem, simply because it is extremely personal to me and tells the true story of my Dad’s fight with cancer over 15 years ago. Sadly, after battling with this disease for 5 years, he passed away on 1 February 1997. The reason why I decided to share this poem is because although it was in some places, painful to write, I do feel other people who have gone through a similar situation with their family members will be able to relate to it and hopefully help them to come to terms with their sad loss and be able to gently move on. I know everyone deals with grief differently and I think it took me about 5 years for the sadness to truly melt away. Now when I think of my Dad, I think of the wonderful, happy and outgoing person he was, this then makes me smile and so proud to be his daughter and part of his life…..his loving spirit lives on in every heart he touched and I know he touched many.
My Wonderful Dad
It was 15 years ago, when you passed away
I must admit, it was my saddest day
My heart felt heavy, from deep inside
I had lost my Dad, I had lost my guide
The tears were painful, unbearable at times
Red bloodshot eyes, were swollen signs
When all alone, I cried out my heart
The deepest sadness, when you did depart
I held your hand, a few days before
And took a last glance back, before I left the ward door
Something told me to look back, when visiting that night
It was 24 hours later, you gave up the fight
I was out with a friend, but didn’t want to go
You told me to ‘live on’ and for the sadness not to show
I came home that night, there was a cold chill in the air
I instantly knew, why no one was there
They were called to the hospital, late that night
You were taking your last breathe, and approaching the light
Everyone was there, except for me
Because I went out, very selfishly
I lived with that hurt, for a few years
Why wasn’t I with you, I cried so many tears
I think it took about 5 years to move on
It was a painful few years, when your presence was gone
But now when I think of my wonderful Dad
I remember the good times, never the sad
I celebrate your life years, there were 58
I was part of 23 and you made them great
You never lived a perfect life, worry got to you
It’s easy to blame, but we didn’t live in your shoes
I think of your singing, I think of your smile
I think of that waistcoat, you wore for a while
You were fond of the mirror, a poser you were
Talking to yourself, as you played with your hair
When you left for work, I missed you right away
When you arrived home, it made my day
You were always positive and friendly to all
You liked to use humour, to break down the brick walls
A charmer you were, fun and caring
A Dad in a million and a little bit daring
You sang at most weddings, with a few whiskys inside
You jigged on the dance floor and flirted with the bride
You loved a laugh and would welcome a crowd
You loved your family, they made you feel so proud
In this physical world, your body is away
In another dimension, your spirit lives on each day
Maybe I can’t see you, but you can see me
You can feel my spirit and its frequency
So I’m sending you this message after 15 years
Life is good Dad, we have no more tears
You are still greatly missed and always will be
You have an extended family, it’s so beautiful to see
As the years go by and the older we get
We must live in each moment, but never will forget
The loved ones of the past, who are present in our mind
Who live in our hearts and are one of a kind
We love you, we miss you and to hold you once more
Would be a dream come true, if you walked through that door
The tears of the past, are now gone forever
They ran down my cheek and joined the river
And as the river flows, my heart does to
It is joined by my soul and reaches out to you
Because on the crest of the wave, there you stand
Holding out your heart and holding out your hand
Thank you Dad, for in me you live
Thank you for the lessons and to others I now give
Live your best life, every moment of every day
Connect with your inner self and listen to what it says
Enjoy the journey, as you sail down the river
Because there are hearts and many hands helping you forever.
poemsbyclarabelle, 6 January 2012
If you really like what you read here on this blog, you may be interested in purchasing one of Clarabelle’s self-published inspirational ebooks available to download now on Amazon Kindle, please refer to the Author page on this blog or click HERE
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